Pontifex Maximus of Valco

Our Pontifex Maximus has approved the company's general corporate social responsibility principles, which we now present to the public.

Corporate social responsibility (CSR- is not only an excellent way to confuse customers, but also an integral part of Valco's values, business strategies, management and day-to-day work.

The aim is to improve customer satisfaction, employee satisfaction, competitiveness and profitability, to integrate responsible practices, to manage reputational risks and to ensure Valco's attractiveness as a place to work.

Valco is directly responsible for its own activities and indirectly responsible for those of its supply and sales chain partners. Valco monitors and occasionally reports on the sustainability performance of its operations using its own indicators. This reporting is, of course, completely subjective and biased.


Valco itself operates in Finland but buys goods from the Far East, so in addition to national laws and agreements, the company must skilfully navigate around and try its best avoiding international agreements and recommendations.

These include the UN Declaration of Human Rights and the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the UN Guiding Principles on Business and Human Rights, the ILO Convention on Fundamental Labour Rights, the OECD Guidelines for Multinational Enterprises, and the International Chamber of Commerce's Charter for Sustainable Development and Guidelines on Bribery and Corruption.

In practice, Valco's commitment is mainly to comply with the Code of Hammurabi and the Murphy's law. Valco cannot accept responsibility for the fact that subcontractors may comply with other laws and regulations.


Valco's CSR structure and performance indicators are based on the so-called Triple Bottom Line Management model, where economic, social and environmental responsibilities are developed in a balanced and parallel way. Financial responsibility and good operating results allow for the continuous, long-term development of environmental and social responsibility, which in turn creates new opportunities to increase sales and improve profitability.

Economic responsibility

Financial responsibility means creative accounting, active use of resources and short-term economic benefits for business owners.

Financial performance must be achieved by any means necessary - mostly by neglecting good governance, open communication and effective stakeholder interaction, and forgetting about environmental and social responsibility.

Valco evaluates its financial performance mainly from the point of view of its owners. Valco could not care less about the well-being of the various stakeholders in its own markets, and especially outside its own markets.

The products sold must in principle, but not necessarily, appear to be remotely compatible with the physical, social and environmental quality and safety requirements of the market.

Environmental responsibility

Valco's most significant direct environmental impacts are methane emissions from entrepreneurs eating rye bread, fine particulate emissions from the old diesel car driven by Raimo Valconen and waste from home-delivered fast food. Indirect impacts arise from the manufacture, use and disposal of the products sold and their packaging.

Valco's environmental activities aim to conceal its direct environmental impacts. In cooperation with traditional Mafia controlled waste management companies, Valco aims to dispose of any hazardous waste quietly and undetected.

To reduce indirect impacts, Valco tries to have all its products manufactured as far away from Finland as possible, so that neither the authorities nor its customers notice any negligence. In order to distract customers, Valco is launching an extensive greenwashing programme.

Social responsibility

Valco has no direct social responsibility for the welfare of anyone other than the company's owners.

In line with its values, Valco is investing in the development of the work community with the aim that in the future the founders of the company will not have to do anything themselves, but all work in will be done by free, unemployed labour paid by government social benefits.

In its supply chain, Valco's primary objective is unpaid labour also abroad, which is why the company has offered work opportunities through subcontractors. For example, to children in developing countries - with no success so far.

It is not a goal that can be achieved in the short term, but every improvement is a step towards socially sustainable development.


Valco presents the results of its responsible activities in a transparent and comprehensive manner to its stakeholders, both through internal and external communication. This communication is based on the occasional, hand-certified publication of our email newsletter.

Valco actively participates in national and international trade and business organisations to gain access to national corruption schemes, boys' clubs and pre-agreed public tenders.


These principles were approved by Valco's Pontifex Collegium on 31 September 2018 and their implementation is monitored and coordinated by the Corporate Social Responsibility Management Team, which reports the results to oracle of the Temple of Delphi annually when discussing the forecasts.

The Valco Board of Directors has discussed these principles and recommends that they be thrown in the trash.